I remember it as if it had happened NOT MORE THAN SIXTY YEARS AGO BUT YESTERDAY. I saw them coming toward me in the middle of the road with a steady pace, almost blows. There were two strange-looking types bizarre. The first wore clothes trapper, blouse and fringed leather pants and clutching a bouquet of red roses. Her face was flushed, as if it were burned by the sun. I can not say it was bad, but rather grotesque. The other wore a green coat and had a brown hat pulled down over his head. He also carried a bunch of flowers in his arms, but more than a bouquet, it seemed that they had been harvested quickly in some grass.
It was the latter character who unknowingly attracted the sympathy of my child, perhaps because the stubble that covered his chin reminded me of the coat of a hedgehog, or because, when a sudden gust of wind tore the hat from the skull This seemed to me ludicrously shiny and hairless.
When the man stopped to pick up the hat, the other got in a compelling and quickened his pace.
seemed blind to what was around and I nearly overwhelmed. It was just my quick reflexes that allowed me to avoid them in time.
The other, trailing behind, he tried to recover the lost yards. Panting, mumbled a curse and he nearly stumbled.
The trapper turned to him and, laughing loudly, cried: "
Hey, Mister Bluff! Do not scramble too much, you've already lost the race start. When Lucilla we will not take too much to choose the most charming man, that is me! "
" For a thousand
Barbacci, Jones! You are deluded. I'll win her heart. "
"
And the deluded would be me, eh? When you'll find yourself in front of her, you will be so breathless that he could not even speak, and limit yourself to puff! "
was the exchange of words that convinced me to follow them and see the evolution of the story.
The spat between the two broke off only when you arrive in front of the house of their lover, tried to give a tone. They were silent. Seemed to enter into a tacit non-aggression agreement, postponing the unquestionable opinion of their Lucilla the designation of the winner of that competition surreal.
The bald man knocked. Then, with minor coups, dusted his clothes. The trapper, however, licked with his tongue and his right index finger if passed it on to lisciarsele eyebrows. Concluded that petty toilet, the two remained motionless, like posing for a portrait. While waiting for the object of their desires were to emerge.
a minute passed, then another and another. Silence. Finally, inside the house, he heard a thud followed by a brief commotion. The window opened on the first floor and check the figure of a woman of about forty, a little 'overweight, his hair disheveled. She was wearing a light silk robe.
"
Lucilla, light of my eyes, I am, Jones, your big cat! Let me in, my sweet little cat! "purred the trapper's high-pitched voice, mimicking the handing back of a cat and ideally the bouquet of roses.
"
Ah! Ah! Ah! Pathetic! "exclaimed Mr. Bluff. The man put a hand on his chest as the companion to want to diminish, he turned to the woman, curiously tenor voice, and exclaimed: "Oh
shining Lucilla, incomparable flower, one is still missing in this bouquet, let your humble gardener will seize! "
Lucilla, who until then had witnessed the scene without issuing breath, looked down upon the suitors, with a stern look.
"
If not gone away, you will empty a bucket of cold water on me! And seeing as you are sweaty, not a bad cold I will rise no! "he said imperiously.
"
Lucilla, my cat ... " purred the trapper.
"
gorgeous ... I am, the man in your life ... " mumbled Mister Bluff.
"
Here there are no cats or flowers. So, gone, "exclaimed the woman before closing the shutters violently.
The two men looked at him, quizzically.
"
But ... but ..." stammered Jones.
"
Oh, no! I'm not there. My beard has never been humiliated like this! I demand an explanation, "snapped Mr. Bluff, beginning to knock on the door with force. From inside he felt much
reach a series of steps coming down the stairs. Then the door opened. Jones and Mister Bluff
looked at each other with stunned expressions. Before them, on the doorstep, the giant figure of a man. It was more than two meters high and showed the hairy chest, dressed only as a pair of trousers worn visibly in a hurry.
"I think Madame
Lucilla was very clear with you. Personally, I would not say more, because I can explain better hands than with words. I believe that you preferred to close the matter here, gentlemen, rather than around the corner, by men. "
"
Be '... in fact, it seems to me that your speech does not make a wrinkle, sir. "said Jones. Then, turning to Mr. Bluff, he added: "
And you, what do you say, my friend? "The bearded patriot
gulped and said to the giant,"
Yeah, I agree that it is appropriate to close this regrettable affair in a civil manner. It just makes my respects to Madame Lucilla. You are a lucky man! "
That said, Jones and Mister Bluff turned away and went off on the sly.
As soon as they had turned the corner, the two looked at each other in the face and exploded with laughter. Looking at them now, unaware of the auction they had shown towards each other just before, they seemed inseparable friends, so you count the slaps on the back that is trimmed all the time.
Suddenly, broken rice, Jones looked seriously at his friend. "Dear Mister
Bluff, I must congratulate you! "he said, extending his hand. Then, when the other shook it, he added: "You've got some words of
fact ... It just makes my respects to Madame Lucilla. You are a lucky man! Ah! Ah! Ah! "
new roaring laughter followed.
I was about to go away, when I was called by the trapper. "
Hey, boy! "he said,"
What are you looking at? You never saw two men who have had a disappointment in love? "
"
No ... I mean, yes ... I mean, I have seen many, but never the two together and for the same woman ... "I managed to answer.
"
Ah! Ah! This is really good, son! "added Mr. Bluff. "You look cute
. We were just going to drink to forget, or perhaps to celebrate ... but what's the difference? Why do not you join us? We'll give you a lemonade! "
"
All right, sir. Thanks! "I said. Then, joking like old pals, we reached the Golden Salamander, the only inn in the country. Just before entering, Mister Bluff went to a horse tied to a fence and, after having stroked vigorously on the mane, gave her the bunch of flowers.
"Un petit cadeau pour vous
, madame! "he added ironically. The animal stared at the man el'improbabile bouquet clutched in his hands, then brought his mouth and began to eat.
"
History of Women and a double Rhum", a story written and illustrated
Gabriele Ferrero by
P AUL Morisi on
Commander Mark number 77, on sale from November 25, 2008.
(image © EsseGesse Editions if)
